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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22500847">Pack Yourself a Toothbrush, Dear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotsofloveandangst/pseuds/Lotsofloveandangst'>Lotsofloveandangst</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It Wasn't Easy To Be Happy For You (And I'm Not Trying To) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mindhunter (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Coming of Age, Divorce, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Underage Drug Use, brian's pov, her name is charity, there's also an original character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:43:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22500847</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotsofloveandangst/pseuds/Lotsofloveandangst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian wants to live with Holden.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Holden Ford/Bill Tench</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It Wasn't Easy To Be Happy For You (And I'm Not Trying To) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534646</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pack Yourself a Toothbrush, Dear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have been gone for so long but I really missed writing, so here you go! I also have no idea what time period this is, like the early 90s maybe? I just wanted some technology in here. BTW, I'm not saying Charity smokes because she's black, I just wanted her to because she can. Charity is an OC of mine that you might see more of I'm not sure. Also, I don't hate Nancy in the tv show or nothing but I needed someone to be the bad guy and that's where I wanted this story to go.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Brian Tench, come here right now!" Brian moved at a snail's pace. Whenever his mom called him like this, it wasn't good. As he got older, he became increasingly surprised at how often his mom yelled at him and how little his dad did. Brian was turning 15 this year. This meant chores and an allowance. However, he wasn't allowed to go to school by himself. His mom insisted that she would drive him there every morning. She thought he would skip school. She was right. School sucked. Staying there for so long annoyed him. And he went to school with many annoying people. He had a few friends, Tyler and Matthew, and sometimes he talked to Charity. Charity had brown curly hair, she had olive skin and a nose piercing. Most people avoided her because she was darker than the rest of the students. They called her dirty and often said she smelled. but Charity introduced him to many artists that he would never think to listen to. She has the cutest nose and she looked like her lips were soft. And she did smell, like roses and weed. She also smokes and Brian loves getting high. He supposed his mom was right to be worried. </p><p>Brian came out of his bedroom and walked into the hallway. "Yes, mom?" She was standing in her scrubs and she squinted her eyes. She hadn't said anything yet and Brian was already stressed out. He knew what it would be about. </p><p>"What is on your face?" She walked up to him and only came up to his chest. She looked up and grabbed his face between her index finger and her thumb. Brian started wearing eyeliner and dressing in all black. He painted his nails black often too. He would usually do it during his study period, though. Mainly to avoid his mom's questions. He shaved his head impulsively a few weeks back. "How am I meant to explain this to your father? Or to the other parents at school?" Brian hadn't seen his dad in a few months because he was in another state, so he had no idea of these changes. Brian also hadn't seen Holden in a while. Sometimes they sent each other letters though, or he would call him on the phone. </p><p>"You won't. I can tell them if it bothers them so much," he rolled his eyes. Then he proceeded to head to the car, not feeling up for eating anything. His mom came a few minutes later, opened the doors and Brian got in. One of the neighbors stopped her to have a conversation that was going on for too long so Brian pressed on the car horn. His mom seemed to have forgotten that the school cares about the time he comes in. The sun made his eyes squint, so he pulled down the sun visor. She finally entered the car and Brian put on the radio to some classics. Normally he would listen to rock, but his mom would complain about how it was too loud. </p><p>"I just don't understand why you have to go outside like this," Nancy sighed at the red light. Brian didn't want to answer her, not really. He had been working with his therapist for years on expressing his emotions better and somehow he still clammed up. He looked down at the mess of black nail polish he had on his non-dominate hand. He could feel his mom staring at him from the side, so he gave his best response. </p><p>"The moms that complain to you, their kids do worse than what I do. They skip school to have sex and I'm pretty sure they pop pills," Holden complained dryly. He was trying to keep his cool, hoping his mom would appreciate that his self-expression. He bought the clothes with his own money. The platform boots were probably the most expensive thing on him. The graphic tees were the cheapest unless they were band-affiliated. His outfits were trendy. Other kids in his school wore things just like him. Holden knew that she was talking about the kids of the PTA. Nancy wasn't even that involved anymore. </p><p>"Well, I don't care about them. You are a reflection of me and my parenting and it looks like-"</p><p>"Like what? Like I'm an anarchist? What if I am?" He was getting a bit testy. He knew he shouldn't, but her arguments were weak and Brian's spirit had become weaker. </p><p>Nancy arrived at the school. "I didn't raise you to be so defiant, Brian. Please just listen to me for once in your life," she pleaded. The statement was funny considering he had. He stopped begging his dad to see Holden after she asked, he dropped a few of his friends for her, he moved the second time after information about his past had been "leaked". Brian starting paying attention in school after she had cried to his therapist. He would have to listen again, he supposed. </p><p>After school, he goes straight home. He wanted to interact with Charity, she had asked him if they could go home together, but he was too tired to interact with another person. When he arrived, his mom was sitting in the living room with a bunch of moms. Book club, probably. He placed his bag down by the door and took off his shoes. He took a deep breath, greeted everyone, and headed to the kitchen to make snacks for himself. </p><p>"I swear, I tried my best," he heard his mom sob. Questions were asked, indistinctly, and another response was verbalized, "It's because his father is in a romantic relationship with a man! It's made Brian defiant and I'm just not sure what do to anymore. Should I have just stayed in a loveless marriage?" Feet shuffled into the bathroom hurriedly. The women were knocking at the bathroom door but Holden couldn't be here anymore. He walked out of the house without a word. Since his dad nor Holden had moved, it was easy to remember where to go.</p><p>He knocked at the door and his heart sped up when he heard Holden's voice. He fought his nerves, trying to push them and said, "It's me, Brian." Holden's door swung open. Holden looked older. He had crows' feet by his eyes and some wrinkles were forming on his forehead. He still had nice hair though. </p><p>"Did you steal my dad from my mom?" There were many questions on Brian's mind, but somehow this one managed to slip out first. Holden looked stunned. He probably never wanted to have this conversation. Brian didn't know who to trust anymore. He used to trust Holden with everything in him. The one adult who wouldn't sugarcoat things for him. Holden was always prepared to tell Brian the truth, and vice versa.  </p><p>"Please come in," Holden backed away and went to the kitchen. When Brian was younger, this place seemed so much bigger. He could recall, faintly, his first and last time here. He asked to stay. That definitely wasn't a possibility.  "You've gotten so much bigger, and your voice- and your clothes," Holden chuckled. Brian's hands were fisted. </p><p>"What about them?"</p><p>"I don't know who I expected you to become, but I couldn't have expected this. It suits you, you look great, Bri," the words were paired with a dazzling smile. Brian's released his fists. "Do you want anything to eat? Drink?" Holden asked and shuffled around looking for utensils and plates. </p><p>"Yes, please, and can you also answer my questions?" Brian inquired. He took in the blue drapes, they were from the first house. He listened to the sounds of the kitchen and was pleasantly reminded of Holden cooking pancakes for him and his dad on Sunday mornings. He remembers going into a diner one time and refusing to finish the pancakes because they didn't taste like Holden's. He was scared, but he believed what his mom said was true. Holden did ruin their family. Holden lived with his dad, and then he didn't. </p><p>Holden placed the plate in front of him. "I have syrup and raspberries if you still like them," he added. Brian nodded. They sat there for a few moments, Holden just staring at him. </p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"I-" Holden began.</p><p>"Because the staring is kind of creepy," Brian munched on another piece of pancake, preparing himself for what was to come. </p><p>"Brian, it's been years since I've seen you. We haven't talked on the phone in months. I wasn't expecting to see you again, and you come here asking about your father and I. Something I have been forbidden from talking about since we began-"</p><p>"So it's true, then." Brian's heart broke a bit. Despite having his suspicions, the confirmation of them made him feel like the stupidest guy on the planet. </p><p>"No!"  Holden exclaimed, "not at all. Your father didn't have any interest in me when he was with your mom. We started seeing each other later on. And I moved out because she found out and didn't want me around you anymore." Holden pressed his face into his palms and sighed. Brian was still confused about the arguments. </p><p>"So why did my dad leave?"</p><p>"Your mom left and took you with her. Bill says that she said he wasn't invested in the marriage anymore. You'll have to ask her," he shrugged. </p><p>"I don't want to do that."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>He placed his fork down and stared at Holden, "she has been a pain and she'll probably lie. She lied to all of her friends about Dad." Holden nodded, his eyes falling to the side. </p><p>"Is it contagious?"</p><p>The question stunned Holden out of his stupor, "Is what contagious?"</p><p>"Can I like men too because my dad does or because you do and I was around you?" Maybe the question was stupid or maybe his mother was right. </p><p>"As far I as know, Brian, your romantic orientation is separate from your environment," Holden confirmed Brian's initial beliefs. "And it isn't something you catch." His tone was firm and made Brian gulp. </p><p>"I'm sorry. I actually have a crush on a girl right now." Holden took his plate when it was finished. "I missed you."</p><p>Holden smiled, "Yeah, I did too.  Your father always kept me updated about what you were doing. I just hate that I had to miss you growing up. Also, does she like you back?" </p><p>"I have no idea, but I'm hoping that you can be at my graduation, and I can come around more."</p><p>"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Holden said hesitantly. "Your mom is already on your back enough."</p><p>"So my mom was the reason I didn't get to see you anymore," He said, tasting the disgust in his mouth. "Do you get to see my dad?" </p><p>"Yes, but it's very different. My house is cramped and there are too many memories in the old one. He comes over here when he can. We still love each other, we just have to hide it." The smile Holden gave him felt so off. Brian didn't like Holden lying. He wasn't meant to, at least not to him. </p><p>The door was met with pounding so loud, it hurt Brian's ears. </p><p>"Brian! Get out here right now!" His mom's voice didn't feel so shrill when he was younger. Holden opened the door for her and before being invited in, she pushed the door back and was seething. </p><p>"How dare you?" She pointed her finger in Holden's face. "I told you to not come around my son anymore. It's been years, why is he here? Were you trying to take advantage-"</p><p>"Mom!" He couldn't believe her. "I came here on my own after you lied to your friends about Dad and Holden," he sighed, shaking his head. The blue drapes were taunting him. This was barely a home. </p><p>"I'm done." The words, again, had left his mouth without permission. "I can't live with you anymore. I'm going to live with Dad." </p><p>"If you go live with your father, I will tell the courts he's a homosexual."</p><p>Brian paused, thinking about the ramifications of a court being aware of his dad and Holden. "I won't be there," Holden interjected. "It will just be him and his dad. We won't try and sneak around like last time." Nancy didn't look pleased to hear Holden's voice. </p><p>"I'll tell them that you hurt me. Because you did, mom. My whole life you've made me feel like I'm crazy and the worst kid you could have." He wanted to say more but refrained. </p><p>"Brian."</p><p>"Mom."</p><p>"You get to stay with your father for the rest of the year, but you're coming back home next school year," she spat. </p><p>Brian took what he could get and walked out, past those blue drapes that reminded him of his safe space. He was ready to get it back. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What do you think? What could I add to the series? I want to do some more parts, maybe even a modern version of what's going on. Please comment what you would like to see!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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